Tom was sitting on the couch watching the evening news when his 13yr old son came racing down the stairs with a huge smile on his face. “Dad, look.” Nick handed his dad his report card and Tom began to smile as he read it from top to bottom. Nick had received all A’s on his report card even in his honor classes. This was big for Nick not only because he made his dad happy, but also because Nick knew he would be getting paid. Tom decided a long time ago that he would never give his children allowances, but he would instead compensate them for getting A’s and B’s in school and for reading books that he assigned them. So Tom proceeded to take out his wallet and give his son the money promises for the grades Nick received. Tom relaxed back in his chair and once again began to watch the evening news thinking his work was done.
Just before Tom could get focused on the news his son said, “Dad are you coming to Teacher Conferences?” Tom looked at his son in confusion and said, “Why, you have all A’s.” Nick looked at his dad with disappointment and said, “Dad, I really want you to come.” Tom reluctantly said ok and put Nick’s Teacher Conferences on his schedule.
On the day of the Teacher Conferences Tom was slightly irritated because he knew how time consuming the conferences would be and he didn’t think he needed to be there in the first place. Nick began to take his father around to all seven teachers and teacher by teacher moment by moment Tom began to realize why he needed to be at his sons Teacher Conferences. Every single teacher that Tom sat down with spoke about what great character Nick demonstrates in class and how he’s a leader for everyone in the school. There was very little to no discussion about Nick’s academic achievements because his grades had already painted the picture. However, there was one thing that a report couldn’t adequately explain and that was the exceptional character that Nick demonstrated at school on a daily basis. Then it happened; just as one of the teachers was raving about Nick’s character, Nick gazed over at Tom to see Tom’s reaction.
It was at that point that Tom knew full well why his son wanted him at Teacher Conferences. Nick just wanted his dad to be proud of him and he wanted to see that same look his dad gives him when he scores the winning touchdown at football games. Nick has always been one of the best athletes in every sport he plays and Tom gives him the proper training and encouragement to help him dominate. When it came to education however, Tom thought giving his son money would suffice. Compensating his son for good grades does help, but it will always fall short of your child truly knowing you’re proud of them.
As parents we play an important role in raising athletes of character. We can’t truly raise athletes of exceptional character if we put more emphasis on celebrating the winning shot or winning touchdown and ignore the acts of kindness. Athletes will continue to lack exceptional character as long as we continue to emphasize talent development and ignore character development.
What are your thoughts?
I have a nephew who is three and is getting his feet wet, so to speak playing soccer.
During one of his games, a teammate hit him on the head. The coaches did not see
this, but my nephew’s dad did. My nephew begins to cry and so his dad calls him
over to the bleachers. My nephew said,” dad that boy hit me on my head
and I am going to hit him back”.
Well now my brother sees a teachable moment, and his reply to my nephew was, “son
it wouldn’t be right or nice to hit your teammate back.” He then tells his son to stay on the bleachers and that he would be right back. My brother goes over to the coach and lets him know that the teammate was hitting during the game.
Now, I know there is no way of knowing if the coach will do anything about the young boy hitting, but it was a great teachable moment for my nephew. However, the teachable moment could not have taken place had my brother not been present physically and mentally. We need more parents’ present at the game; not caught up in wins and losses, but focusing on those teachable moments that enviably shape a child’s life.
Are we present in our children’s life, both physically and mentally?
Are we seeing the teachable moments and applying them?
Do our children see us applying patience, respect, kindness and love to others?
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ?
As I sit here and type this blog images of athletes’ names are running through my head. I can recall listening to their stories on ESPN, CNN, ABC, NBC and various other networks. I, like many of you, am tired of hearing about athletes losing their cool against women, children and other innocent citizens. Many of these athletes are punished with fines, suspensions and “timeouts” but have we really addressed the root of the problem?
A negative attitude and the inability to control ones temper is the root of the problem. This hits close to home for me because I too once had a negative attitude and an out of control temper that got me into trouble while playing sports in college. Don’t get me wrong, my attitude and temper were great advantages for me on the field. However, once off the field and back into society, I was perhaps even more dangerous than I was on the field. Our sporting arenas are designed and promoted for controlled chaos, but that isn’t the case in the community. Many athletes including myself were never taught how to transition from an environment that requires controlled chaos to an environment that requires control and compassion. It’s almost like creating a bomb without a “kill switch.” Yes, sports require a certain level of aggression but that doesn’t mean we as athletes don’t have the ability to choose our attitude at any given point in time.
The attitude we choose is a choice. We can’t blame sports for the way an athlete carries himself outside their sporting arena. We can however blame the lack of character development provided to our athletes. Most professional athletes have received countless hours of physical training to prepare themselves to be elite in their given sport. They however have received little to no training to prepare them to be elite men and women of character. Yes, attitude is a choice but you can’t choose the right attitude if you haven’t been trained what the right attitude is and when to choose it.
We place our children in school to become smart and we put them in sports to learn to compete and have fun. Maybe it’s time we give them some character development so that they’re not just smart, fast and strong but men and women of elite character. The problem doesn’t begin at the professional level, but at the little league level.
What do you think?